i low key want to get an A in therapy.
i feel uncomfortable sharing problems unaccompanied by a profound insight or intelligent question. i still struggle to let myself cry during a session. on some level i want my therapist to be impressed with how self aware i am and how well i integrate our lessons.
when i listened to Brene Brown’s viral TED talk back in 2010, i felt SO seen when she shared her initial reaction to the concept of vulnerability. "
“you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important, that they surrender and walk into it.
A: that's not me, and
B: I don't even hang out with people like that.”
and the thing that makes me feel more vulnerable than anything else:
when i’m not functioning at a 10/10
when i don’t “got it”
when i’m in over my head
when it feels like i’m falling apart.
because normally, i’m the person who can be the rock for everyone else.
the one who
handles it all. gets it all done. holds it all together
the person who “seems fine” even when I have alot going on behind the scenes.
not because i’m faking it, or putting on a happy face.
but because i’m used to functioning at such a high capacity that no one (including me) realizes just how much i’m carrying until i start to crack.
if you relate to any of that..
A. you are my people, and
B. you probably agree- one of the hardest things to say out loud is “i’m not ok”.
and unfortunately for us, over these past few weeks i’ve realized one of the most important thing we can learn to say is “i’m not ok”
because it wasn’t until I admitted, “I’m not okay,” that my recovery could properly start.
for the past few weeks i’ve been sharing about my health journey.
(if you want to catch up, you can read the articles below)
and today i finally feel well enough to give you the latest update. i just sat down and recorded a 35 min podcast where i share:
the breaking point that made me want to go home for the first time in 7.5 years of traveling
why saying “i’m not okay” became the turning point in my recovery
the emotional wound this illness unexpectedly brought to the surface
what i had to let go of to find peace in the middle of an uncertain recovery
press play to learn the power and importance of saying “i’m not ok”.
if you have a high functioning, overachiever in your life who may need a permission slip to say “i’m not ok” click “share” and send it their way!