I spent 60 days “anonymous in a city” and found the invisible force working against my growth
sometimes its the extreme conditions that help you see more clearly
For the past few years, I’ve been stuck at an income plateau of around $100K/year.
Despite all the effort I put into growing my business, I couldn’t break free from that level.
No matter how many coaching programs I joined.
No matter how many strategies I tested.
No matter how many offers I created.
No matter how much content I put out.
No matter how many limiting beliefs I shifted…
I kept circling that $100k/year mark.
Last year, I even went “all in” on trying to break through.
I ran a full “quantum leap” experiment—pushing myself, stretching my capacity, intentionally trying to break through my ceiling.
And while I had some spikes in income. Some massive months and record breaking weeks.
I couldn’t maintain it. I still evened out at $100k for the year.
And to be fair—this is a fine place to be “stuck.”
I have a business that supports me while I travel the world. Its objectively incredible.
And there was still this underlying frustration I couldn’t shake.
One of my mentors says frustration comes from not playing at the level you know you’re meant to be playing at.
That’s exactly what it’s been feeling like.
Like I haven’t been fully expressed.
Like I’m not operating at my actual capacity.
Like there is so much potential energy built up inside me… that just isn’t translating into reality.
And for a while, I knew there was an identity component to this.
But every time I heard “you just need to upgrade your identity,” it felt vague and… honestly, a little unhelpful.
Like… how?
What does that actually mean?
How do you “do identity work”?
How do you break the pattern of being who you’ve been?
Yes, mindset work helps.
Yes, raising your standards matters.
Yes, there’s inner work that moves the needle.
But I was doing all of that… and still hitting the same ceiling.
And after spending 60 days “anonymous in a city”
What I’ve realized is: there’s a bigger force at play here.
Your environment.
And not just in the obvious, physical sense. Because I move to new places all the time.
What I didn’t realize is how much the relational environment you’re in, the people around you, the dynamics you’re part of creates a microclimate that can shape your identity in ways that are almost invisible.
Ways that quietly keep you being who you’ve always been. Even if you are surrounded by people who encourage your growth, and don’t explicitly want you to stay stagnant.
It wasn’t until I followed this very strange pull to be completely anonymous in a city…
Until I entered a season of saying no to almost everything…
Until I removed as many external reference points as possible…
That I saw this clearly.
Because in that space, something shifted.
For the first time, I felt what I can only describe as complete freedom to evolve.
No expectations.
No roles to play.
No subtle pressure to be consistent with who I’ve been.
Just… space.
And in that space, I experienced a level of identity fluidity, a totipotency of identity, where it genuinely feels like I can become anything.
In this week’s Inner Circle episode, I go much deeper into this.
I break down:
How relationships can create invisible agreements of consistency (even the healthy, loving ones)
Why growth can feel so hard when your environment is constantly reinforcing your old identity
And how to start creating “totipotent relational microclimates” that make it easier to evolve freely.
If you’ve been feeling stuck… underexpressed… like you know you’re capable of more but can’t seem to access it, this may be the piece that’s missing.
You can join the Inner Circle and watch the full episode here.
